My Blog

Facebook

2009-05-14T03:04:00.000-07:00

Among many Israeli teens, Facebook is a website for people to communicate and meet other people. However, there are people who believe it has changed and turned into a forum for hate groups. The website "Facebook" has many positive aspects, and people are looking at the negative sides and judging it(This is too vague!)

Where is the rest?.
(30)
Daphna

School Uniform

2009-04-23T02:54:00.000-07:00

Many schools around the world believe that wearing a uniform is mandatory. However, the students completely disagree. The people who agree with uniforms say that students will do better in school if they don't waste their time trying to impress others with their appearance. The students should decide whether to wear a uniform or not, not the school(How is this sentence related to the rest?).

There are many pros and cons to school uniforms,
Where is the rest fo your work???

(30)
Daphna

Burge McCall

2009-04-20T00:16:00.000-07:00

Mr. and Mrs. McCall had a very strange relationship, they're(sp. - their) marriage lasted for three years and four months. Mrs. McCall, a very elegant woman, was tall and thin with big black eyes, her hair was split down the middle and smoothed down on each side. Her husband, Burge McCall, was the exact opposite. He was short and fat, and had a very loud voice. Unlike his wife's smooth hair, his was greased(ww. - greasy). He enjoyed sucking on his teeth, as well as making a peculiar sound. - This opening is too long and unnecessary.

Aside from being married, they did not have much of a relationship. The women in the town they lived in said they wouldn't touch Burge even with a ten foot poll. He was a real lady killer. The townspeople wondered, Why would(מיותר) Mrs. McCall marry(gr. - married) such a pathetic man. Some say(gr. - stick to the past) it was the noisy sound of the Santa Fe railroad engines, others say(gr.) it would not make a difference because of Burge's loud voice. Burge McCall did not appreciate his wife very much, he spent a lot of money on himself and other women but was very cheap with his own wife.

Burge's wife was a very silent woman, when he called her names she would just stare back at him. He got sick of it after two months and had the nerve to slap his wife. At least now he got her attention, She finally responded and called him a big rat. One day, Burge went to Sled Sather's drugstore to have a drink. Sled was Mrs. McCall's Sister's husband. He told Burge that his wife was in there earlier and bought a pound of rat poison. At this point in the story everything changes. Burge began acting(phr. - became) suspicious because he remembers(gr.) (that) when he slapped his wife, she called him a big rat. Burge was very nervous and did not know what to do(Explain clearly the cause of his fear). He even got to the point where he would do anything just to avoid his wife. He stopped eating at home, he stopped drinking anything at the house, He always had an excuse. Burge McCall even bought her(ww. - his wife) a sealskin coat(why?). Mrs. McCall smiled at him for the first time since they got married and everything was going well.

Burge McCall suddenly died in 1935, after finally having a stable relationship with his wife for two years. Their marriage was never meant to be, and they were better off not getting married. After all, they did meet at a picnic(That's not a reason for the failure in their marriage). However, the story turned out to be very interesting and I must admit, Mrs. McCall's idea of calling Burge a rat (and) then making up a story about buying rat poison was smart and funny.- Why was it smart? What did she achieve by doing that? What do you think about her actions? All of these qustions are not answered in your essay, instead you spent most of your essay summarizing the story.
(75)
Daphna

Homework

2009-03-23T13:44:00.000-07:00

Most students feel that homework is unnecessary and that it's a complete waste of time. However, as much as I would like to agree with them, there really is a purpose for it. Those who don't take homework seriously might as well say it is pointless because it won't do them much, but the other students, that do take it seriously, benefit from it.

Teachers argue that homework is merely a way of reviewing what the students have learned on that particular day. But what I really think is, homework is given to prepare the students for what's really "out there". In college, the amount of homework given is immense compared to what students receive in high school, and if students are not prepared to work at home, then it's time they start.

On the contrary, Homework also aids during exams as well as reflects on the student's participation in the classroom. Preparing homework everyday is a bit overrated and can be substituted with a couple of days that are dedicated for reviewing notes. Many students get so crammed up with homework that they just give up, and that's a very negative way to look at it. Taking it one step at a time will lead to great things.

In summation, I would like to restate that homework is very necessary and that the issue of how important it is isn't stressed out enough. It is likely that if a student avoids doing homework, he doesn't have as much a chance in succeeding in an exam then a student who does his homework. So, no, students can not learn better without having to prepare their homework eventually.

Good work and well put.

(100)

Daphna.

Space travel

2009-02-19T02:44:00.000-08:00

Space travel is an amazing discovery man kind has made. But in order to be able to "expand the boundaries", money must be spent. Is it really worth it? or are we wasting our time. For many years people have been debating whether to continue exploring the wonders of space, or to just give it up. Is there really a balance between money and information?

There are so many risks in space travel. However, there are many rewards. Its sort of a risk-reward situation. Imagine the knowledge we can discover. How much is really out there? aside from meteors and planets. If we had never begun exploring space a lot of what we know today, would not exist. As a result of space travel, scientists have thought of a logical explanation for the creation of earth, "The Big Bang".

Even though there are many rewards, we must take into account the many disadvantages in space travel. The biggest problems we face are Oxygen, and Zero gravity. Humans can't live without oxygen, and space has none. So, we must always take air tanks, which eventually run out. Also, There is always the risk of a meteor hitting a space station or a space ship, the chances of somebody surviving that are very slim. Therefore, death is a big problem.

In conclusion, space travel is not easy, with all of the risks we take. But without it we would be less advanced. In my opinion, it is definitely worth it to explore space, the advances we have made are immense as opposed to what we would have if we never explored space. A large amount of people agree with continuing space travel, but with all of the financial problems we have on earth, it will be hard.

Good work (95)
Daphna.

Peer Pressure

2009-02-05T02:52:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been asked to cut class? A class where you know if you don't go, you'll get left behind. What if all of your friends are saying that they will make fun of you if you don't, what do you do? That's called peer pressure. Peer pressure is when your peers influence you to do things you don't necessarily want to do.

Getting rid of peer pressure isn't simple, but if you know how to separate what's right from wrong then you can easily avoid it. Saying "No" isn't so easy, especially when it's more than one friend telling you what to do. Although in most situations peer pressure is bad, sometimes it can convince people to stop doing bad things and realize the right thing to do.

Teenagers may think that they're only going to have to deal with peer pressure in the young stages of their lives, but they're wrong. Even adults have to deal with peer pressure in their every day life. An example for this is work. The boss of the company can pressure somebody into doing something so he can get the job or a promotion. This causes several employees to compete against each other and "Give In" more to peer pressure.

As a result of peer pressure, many teenagers have said or done things that they normally would not do. Teenagers think that they will fit in better or become "Cool" if they do what other people tell them to do, but don't realize it could get them in a lot of trouble. An outcome to all of this is that teenagers tend to forget about what is wrong and what is right, leaving them in a position where they think everything is right because someone else has done the same thing.

Very good essay. I liked it. (95)
Daphna.

2009-01-22T02:59:00.000-08:00

January,22nd, 2009
.
Dear Stanley,
.
Your problem is a very common one and often many teen's find themselves in that situation. Climbing a mountain is not easy. I myself have been in this dilemma before and it seems like you just can't solve it. But since they're your friends, then it can be resolved with a simple conversation.

To tell you the truth, the decision is completely up to you. I wouldn't climb a mountain because I know for a fact that I can't climb, although if you think you can handle it, then go for it. Peer pressure is a very big thing these days, and if you want to overcome it, then just don't pay attention to it.

My suggestion is you speak to your friends, let them know about your fear and maybe they will understand. You could also just not go to this trip and plan another one at a different time, but make be(unnecessary) sure to ask your friends if your plans are acceptable, so they don't go through what you are going through right now.If I had more information about your situation, for example what mountain you are climbing, or if there would be medics, then it's(gr.) completely different

You've heard my advice, but it's up to you. Also if you never try to climb a mountain, then you'll never learn how. If you do decide to climb the mountain, then many years from now you can say you overcame your fear and succeeded.

Good Luck,
.
Matthew Vardi

Very good work. (100)
Daphna.

The War Against Terror

2009-01-08T02:54:00.001-08:00

Put yourself in Israel's position. Live the life that we are living, and feel the way we feel. How can the rest of the world be so ignorant? The life the people of Sderot live to me isn't life. Everyday the citizens of the south hear sirens that warn them that a threat is near. I'm a 15 year old American boy living in Israel, and I had no idea wars were this frightening. The rest of the world treats this like its nothing, and even have the guts to say we should stop. The Israeli Defence Forces are defending Israeli citizens from death. Day by day,night by night, the bombs just wont stop as long as the Hamas is still at large. From what I hear on the news the IDF is working at their best and we are even recruiting volunteers that are willing to help. We have some enourmous support from the USA but its not enough because many countries still believe that we are engaged in an unjustified and unnessecary war against innocent children and women.

2009-01-07T13:02:00.000-08:00

Hey Danny,

How's the family, I heard your brother got into Harvard University, so please tell him congratulations from me. You're not going to believe what happened a few nights ago at a New York Knicks basketball game. I was so shocked that I couldn't even speak!

Okay, so I was talking to Matt about basketball when he brought up the topic, Why don't we go to a game? I was surprised he even offered, he usually always has something to do. I said yes without even thinking about it. The game began at 8:00 at Madison Square Garden in Manhattan, The New York Knicks Vs. The Boston Celtics. As you may know, halftime shows are very popular because they're so entertaining and funny. You never know what they're going to do tonight, for example, in one game they show the audience a man doing slam dunks and in the next game there is a 5 year old boy break dancing.

During halftime, fans are able to get out of their seats and go to the court. Obviously not on the court but they can go near the hoop, but as long as they stay off the court. Tonights halftime show was a group of cheerleaders doing a routine. Towards the end of their routine while me and Matt were still in our seats, we looked at the court and there is a man running without a shirt on interfiering with the dance, shouting "Go Knicks, Go Knicks!". The fact that he even got through security is fascinating. He was immedeatly escorted off of the premesis and banned from Madison Square Garden.

I just thought that I should share this funny experience with you, and i hope you would write back to me with a funny story of yours. Can you imagine? Running across the court in the middle of a halftime show on national television? How embarrasing! I was so shocked that Matt and I were cracking up at the same moment. What are the ods that the basketball game that Matt chose to go to turned out to be the one with the best halftime show in history probably.

From Matt,
Hope you write back soon!

2009-01-07T12:20:00.000-08:00

The topic i chose to discuss is: Types of Clocks

The Sun Dial

Many cultures and many discoveries were lost in history. The Egyptians however, are thanked today for revealing to us the basic way of telling time. They used a similar base for hours. but instead of 12 hours, they had 10 hours and 2 twilight hours. The way the Sun Dial worked is quite impressive for an ancient civilization. An obelisk was placed infront of the sun dial and according to the shadows it would create on the dial, people told time. The only flaw it had was that during afternoon hours it had to be turned 180 degrees. The Egyptians also discovered that by using the Sun Dial they can tell which hours of the day are longest and shortest.

The Mechanical Clock

Galileo Galilei Is known for being the first person to invent the pendelum clock, although he did not live long enough to build it. Instead, a dutch scientist around 80 years after took the time to build it, It came just as intended although there was one disadvantage. That disadvantage was that the clock was short less than one minute a day. Despite the fact that one minute is a pretty long time, it was a major success in the development of clocks. Later in time, that time gap was reduced to a 100Th of a second.

Source:
http://www.time-for-time.com/clocks.htm

2008-11-06T02:48:00.000-08:00

Barcelona,Spain was a place I visited in 2002. Although I visited there for a very short period of time, I had the greatest time of my life. I went with my mom, my grandmother, my grandfather, who sadly past-away(sp.) two years ago, and my two uncles from my mother's side. This place is very special to me because its some of the most meaningfull memories I have of my grandfather(phr.), who I miss very much. I didnt get to see him much because I lived in New York, but everytime I visited he was so exited to see me as I was also.

We stayed there for a week, but the places we visited were ones i would never forget. There were places that were around 20 stories high and the architecture was very old fashioned. A very old fasioned place would be the "Sagrada Familia" which was unfinished until today, i believe it was left like that for a reason. I also ended up visiting a place which i never thought i would visit which was the Picasso Museum. Later that day we went to eat at this really interesting restaurant, the food was amazing! To tell you the truth, finding a place to eat was not so easy because my uncle who is religious always needs to eat at kosher places and i wasnt really into that stuff back then so i had to sort of sneak out to eat at other places. We also went up this mountain and my grandfather couldnt go up because he wasnt feeling so great, i still remember that until today because he said he would wait and we came back down after two hours and he was still there.

Overall my trip to Barcelona,Spain was amazing. I wish sometime in the near future i could go again with different people and different places because every year i hear new things. There are so many places in this world that if you visit, the memories will stay forever, Barcelona will always stay in my mind.

You've corrected most of your mistakes. I left marked in red the last mistakes. Other than that, your work is very nice and I enjoyed reading it very much.
Daphna.

2008-11-05T12:56:00.000-08:00

My older brother Steven is a very important person in my life, if i had to choose who the most special person in my life is, it would be him. He is around my height which is 6''1. since I moved to Israel i keep in touch with him almost twice every week and turn to him with every problem that i have. Him and my other brother Michael both work in the jewelry business which I'm looking into when i grow up(phr.). My brother is a very open minded person and he (is) also very smart which is what i love about him.

Steven is always really nice to me, although he can be a pain(phr.) sometimes because he is always telling me things to do, not in a bossy way though. He behaves very appropriately when he needs to, but when he's not serious he's a very funny person. I chose my brother Steve to be this special person because when I grow up i want to work with him and every time I talk to him he teaches me something new,(Start a new sentence here) normally i get very bored when people try to tell me things but there's something about the way he says it that makes me want to hear more. He tells me all sorts of things like lessons in life or even things about business. I plan to visit him back in New York in December during Hanukah, and I'm hoping to spend a lot of time with him. Growing up he's always been there for me and he still is now.

My brother Steve overall is an amazing person and i know i can always rely on him to help me with something, no matter what the situation is. There are many other people i can name that are significant in my life but Steven tends to always be right up there. I don't think anybody that has ever met him or will meet him in the future will have a negative impression on him because he's always positive. My brother Steve is the most special person in my life.

Great essay. But, please pay attention to capitalization and punctuation.
Daphna.

2008-09-11T03:16:00.001-07:00

My name is Matthew Vardi, I am 6' Ft tall and 15 years old. I live in Israel with my mom, my father and two brothers live back in New York, I moved here to Israel two months ago due to my parents getting divorced. I plan to move back when I'm 18. When i heard i was moving i wasnt very happy,But now that I'm here it really isn’t that bad. I attend "Kugel High School" and I love it here. So far I have many friends and they're all so nice it's unbelievable.

Some of my hobbies include playing basketball, football and talking to my friends. Talking to my friends is very important for me now as I lived in New York for the majority of my life and I need to keep in touch with all of them. In my spare time I enjoy watching T.V and spending time on the computer. I love going out on Saturday night and sometimes Friday. Back in New York I didn’t have school on Sundays but here I do, so that’s one less day for me to have off of school.

School here is very interesting. Its completely different regarding the schedule and the way the teachers come to your class, rather than you switching around every 45 minutes to a different classroom. Sitting down for two hours in a double period can get pretty boring. Some of my favorite classes include English, Math, and Science. I chose these three subjects because they have to do with what I learned last year so its a bit easy for me and some of it I am really good at English. I lived in the United States for my whole life and now that I live here learning English is easy and fun.

School in Israel may be different but it doesn't matter what school you go to, what matters is what you're learning in the school. So far Israel has met my expectations and I'm looking forward to a great year in high school. Life in New York is way easier in my opinion than living here and all of the bad things I expected from moving to Israel turned out as a surprising relief because its not that different in some ways.I enjoy living in Israel and I hope I will keep enjoying it for another three years until I move back to the US. That pretty much sums me up.

Good work. I found it well organized, clear and most importantly - interesting!
Daphna.

Where is your second assignment? It was due last week. Please work on your second assignment in the next couple of days.
Daphna.