Many schools around the world believe that wearing a uniform is mandatory. However, the students completely disagree. The people who agree with uniforms say that students will do better in school if they don't waste their time trying to impress others with their appearance. The students should decide whether to wear a uniform or not, not the school(How is this sentence related to the rest?).
There are many pros and cons to school uniforms,
Where is the rest fo your work???
(30)
Daphna
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
Burge McCall
Mr. and Mrs. McCall had a very strange relationship, they're(sp. - their) marriage lasted for three years and four months. Mrs. McCall, a very elegant woman, was tall and thin with big black eyes, her hair was split down the middle and smoothed down on each side. Her husband, Burge McCall, was the exact opposite. He was short and fat, and had a very loud voice. Unlike his wife's smooth hair, his was greased(ww. - greasy). He enjoyed sucking on his teeth, as well as making a peculiar sound. - This opening is too long and unnecessary.
Aside from being married, they did not have much of a relationship. The women in the town they lived in said they wouldn't touch Burge even with a ten foot poll. He was a real lady killer. The townspeople wondered, Why would(מיותר) Mrs. McCall marry(gr. - married) such a pathetic man. Some say(gr. - stick to the past) it was the noisy sound of the Santa Fe railroad engines, others say(gr.) it would not make a difference because of Burge's loud voice. Burge McCall did not appreciate his wife very much, he spent a lot of money on himself and other women but was very cheap with his own wife.
Burge's wife was a very silent woman, when he called her names she would just stare back at him. He got sick of it after two months and had the nerve to slap his wife. At least now he got her attention, She finally responded and called him a big rat. One day, Burge went to Sled Sather's drugstore to have a drink. Sled was Mrs. McCall's Sister's husband. He told Burge that his wife was in there earlier and bought a pound of rat poison. At this point in the story everything changes. Burge began acting(phr. - became) suspicious because he remembers(gr.) (that) when he slapped his wife, she called him a big rat. Burge was very nervous and did not know what to do(Explain clearly the cause of his fear). He even got to the point where he would do anything just to avoid his wife. He stopped eating at home, he stopped drinking anything at the house, He always had an excuse. Burge McCall even bought her(ww. - his wife) a sealskin coat(why?). Mrs. McCall smiled at him for the first time since they got married and everything was going well.
Burge McCall suddenly died in 1935, after finally having a stable relationship with his wife for two years. Their marriage was never meant to be, and they were better off not getting married. After all, they did meet at a picnic(That's not a reason for the failure in their marriage). However, the story turned out to be very interesting and I must admit, Mrs. McCall's idea of calling Burge a rat (and) then making up a story about buying rat poison was smart and funny.- Why was it smart? What did she achieve by doing that? What do you think about her actions? All of these qustions are not answered in your essay, instead you spent most of your essay summarizing the story.
(75)
Daphna
Aside from being married, they did not have much of a relationship. The women in the town they lived in said they wouldn't touch Burge even with a ten foot poll. He was a real lady killer. The townspeople wondered, Why would(מיותר) Mrs. McCall marry(gr. - married) such a pathetic man. Some say(gr. - stick to the past) it was the noisy sound of the Santa Fe railroad engines, others say(gr.) it would not make a difference because of Burge's loud voice. Burge McCall did not appreciate his wife very much, he spent a lot of money on himself and other women but was very cheap with his own wife.
Burge's wife was a very silent woman, when he called her names she would just stare back at him. He got sick of it after two months and had the nerve to slap his wife. At least now he got her attention, She finally responded and called him a big rat. One day, Burge went to Sled Sather's drugstore to have a drink. Sled was Mrs. McCall's Sister's husband. He told Burge that his wife was in there earlier and bought a pound of rat poison. At this point in the story everything changes. Burge began acting(phr. - became) suspicious because he remembers(gr.) (that) when he slapped his wife, she called him a big rat. Burge was very nervous and did not know what to do(Explain clearly the cause of his fear). He even got to the point where he would do anything just to avoid his wife. He stopped eating at home, he stopped drinking anything at the house, He always had an excuse. Burge McCall even bought her(ww. - his wife) a sealskin coat(why?). Mrs. McCall smiled at him for the first time since they got married and everything was going well.
Burge McCall suddenly died in 1935, after finally having a stable relationship with his wife for two years. Their marriage was never meant to be, and they were better off not getting married. After all, they did meet at a picnic(That's not a reason for the failure in their marriage). However, the story turned out to be very interesting and I must admit, Mrs. McCall's idea of calling Burge a rat (and) then making up a story about buying rat poison was smart and funny.- Why was it smart? What did she achieve by doing that? What do you think about her actions? All of these qustions are not answered in your essay, instead you spent most of your essay summarizing the story.
(75)
Daphna
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